Dec 27, 2009

The right path

Two.. Three.. Four... There were just 11 more steps.
I can do it’ he thought , ‘ unless I stumble down’. He drudged further in the pitch darkness. He counted again. There was a right turn after 5 more steps. The clock chimed and he counted. Two rings. So it was two o clock in the night. He had to reach the top within 15 more minutes. This was his last opportunity. He raised his left hand a few inches and tried feeling the wall. He couldn’t reach it. This meant that he was too much in the end. Only a one-side wall supported the staircase. The other side opened to thin air even without a hand bar. A few more centimeters to the right, he would topple down the six floors that he had climbed with so much risk. The risk factor was not just because of the darkness or because of the dangerous steps but there was the enemy to be counted too.

Praying to the Lord for strength and success , step by step he shifted to the left such that his arm rubbed to the hard stone wall. The rough wall was bruising his elbow, which had started to bleed, but he couldn’t shift rightward. The steps were just wide enough to accommodate one thin person. He took a right turn after 3 more steps. More carefully he went further and finally reached the terrace. Heaving a sigh of relief , he crouched down hoping none of his housemates would see him. Crawling stealthily on his knees he reached the other end of the terrace.

He stood up and felt the height of the wall. It came up to his waist. Carefully he climbed on to it. He could felt the cold air hitting him and shivered. He felt around the sleeves of his left hand making sure that there was a circular button. ‘ Ammi how do I know which is the red shirt?’, he had once asked his mother. ‘ Amir beta, Your red shirt has circular buttons on the collar, white shirt has such a button on the edge of the sleeve, the green striped one..’ she had replied making sure that he memorised it all. His mother had not just taught him to be independent; she had also inculcated him with values. ‘Beta, Allah has not given you eyesight but he has given you a heart to choose. Always choose the right path and his grace will be with you’ she had told him again and again.

Now he realized his Ammi was way too idealistic. Helped by his Abba and other uncles the nijahud-ins fighting for their religion had taken refuge in their house unknown to the Indian military. He had heard his cousins go away to their camp once they were of age to do the right thing for their Allah and their religion. Ever since they had taken shelter things were not the same anymore in his house. He remembered the happier days when there was love and laughter. But now there was a gloom that had descended. It all started when Abba’s old friend Mustaan -ji had appeared at their doorstep one night. Two days their guest had watched them silently. One evening when all the elderly had gathered around, Mustaan-ji had addressed them all. His raspy voice had given the little Amir an unknown fear. He was too young to understand what the aggressive speaker had meant but till this day he could remember the final words.
For Allah to love us we should write the lord’s name in blood, the blood of the people of this country who have wronged us.’ were the cold words that had sent chills through Amir’s body. Later that night, away from everybody when he was being tucked into bed he asked his mother ‘ Ammi doesn’t Allah love us all equally for what we are as long as we love him ?’ . Before she could reply ,He heard his father ordering him to sleep and not to question elders.

The next morning when he woke up everything was changed. There was gloom and an unknown urgency in the voice of his family members. Till this day it had ever remained so. Ammi was very sick and bedridden but Abba wouldn’t let a doctor visit their house nor would he take her to one. With each day, Amir listened to the increased coughs from his dear Ammi. Her voice was always in pain and this pained him. He decided that Allah dint love him enough and it was his turn to do something so that he would get all the blessings to save Ammi.

Standing on the rooftop he checked his pajama pockets and felt the circular shaped item in one pocket. He could hear the distant sound of marching. So it was just a few minutes before when the country’s soldiers would march by their street for their nightly parole. he took out the item from his pocket. He recalled how some person had instructed others to use the bomb when necessary. They were planning to attack the various cities and were preparing crude bombs in his house. Nobody had ever doubted them because of their clean backgrounds. Also his Abba was a renowned lecturer in a good college. The nijahud-ins were to leave the house at daybreak and travel to various places and time their attacks.

Amir heard the nearing footsteps. He had to throw the bomb in his pocket at the direction of the soldiers’ footsteps. He had never before missed his aim when he threw stones at the dogs when they barked at him. He prayed feverently that he wouldn’t miss it this time too.He had worn the white shirt so that they could spot him easily. His plan was simple. He would attack them and they in turn would come in large numbers to his house and seize everything. This way he could save the hundreds of innocent people, which was the right thing to do. He waited. Took the Lord’s name and proceeded.

And then there was an explosion.

.
.
.
The soldiers took aim and shot at the boy and watched him fall down. Lieutenant Sandesh saw the horror as the Deputy told out loud and clear ‘ Look at the bastard. Not even grown a beard and he threatens our country. God alone knows from where these filthy people come. Come lets go in and finish off the older bastards who have given birth to such vermin.

.
.
There was babble of voices. Nothing was clear. There was a blinding light that he had never before felt. A smooth voice that called out ‘ Amir beta, are you awake?’ . Surely it must be Allah taking care of him thought Amir.. Would he be still blind or would he be able to see the Almighty, he thought.
.
.
Lieutenant Sandesh saw the anticipating look on the boy’s face and said, ‘You are very safe, beta. Lie down and take rest
.
.

That morning of the fight when there was flashlights shone on the boy’s face, Lieutenant Sandesh clearly recognized the face. He had wandered around the house several times wearing a fake beard and seen this blind boy sitting alone. Once he had found the boy fallen asleep in the hay bale. The boy was murmuring in his sleep that he had to do right and save the innocents from the devils in his house. He reported it to the higher officials and they had asked him to befriend the boy to find out more. As he watched, his interest and affection towards the boy had grown. He had decided to take a step further and start talking to him but that was when this incident occurred. Seeing the boy being shot at, he felt an urge to save the boy and immediately informed the higher authority. He personally went and picked up the boy from the terrace floor and rushed him to the hospital.

There had been an exchange of fire and explosion between the housemates and the commandos. The house was completely destroyed and none of the inmates had survived. But he wouldn’t let the boy be an orphan. He would've have a home, be cared for.
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Jul 11, 2009

Await




I've long been awaiting in the dark,
At every little sound I hark.
With anxiety, my heart is pounding
My eyes are forever anticipating
a silhouette of you, my soldier.
The lamp sheds no light for me
Its for you to reach here
So that once again our lives can adhere.



P.S: I saw the painting in my dreams and tried to replicate what i saw.
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The final Victory

‘Carl….’

‘Em ? Listen .. Wait !! Don’t walk away. We need to talk alright?’

‘About what? There’s nothing to talk about. Lets get to work.’ Flexing her hands and crouching she said ‘Ready ?’

‘ Easy..!!!’ said Carl desperately , ‘ Please listen to me once’

Emesme looked at the handsome man in the tuxedo staring at her. She hated that particular stare of Carl. It made her existence complicated. She wanted to run to him and let go of everything else she valued but deep inside she knew she could never lead such a life. She was born to do the work she was doing. It gave her peace and it gave her the satisfaction that she was on top of the world.

‘ I’ll give you 2 minutes’ said Em

Carl took a step closer and put the strand of hair falling on her face behind her ear. He could feel her breathing get heavy.

She was the most beautiful and the most intriguing woman he had met. He had had a million affairs. The rest were just dolls compared to her. They were dumb and were like gadgets to be used whereas she was challenging. Intelligent. The a perfect rival for him.

He remembered the first time he had met her. He had been beaten for the first time in his life. The antique worth over 2 million dollars was his target and he had had months of planning to get. By the time he could lay his hands on it he sneezed and by the blink of his eye he saw that she had the piece in one hand a spray in the other hand and the look of satisfaction on her face.

Then had started the cat and mouse game between them. They were rivals in every sense. Whichever con game he played, she was the perfect opponent. Both had equal scores against each other. He hated her. He was drawn to her. He was the best man at planning and getting away. No other person had ever come close to his way other than her.

He had so gotten used to seeing her plotting for the same price as he that once he waited for her arrival, near one painting that he was supposed to steal . After a long wait he realized that she was not going to come and started to walk away dejected not wanting to take the glory of it without a proper game. And just as he had turned his back she sprang from the ceiling dressed in black and snatched the painting from the secure walls.

With each passing check mate that they had issued each other he knew that their desire to belong to each other had grown. It became an obsession. Just the proximity in which they operated would get their heart thumping. It was painful to know that his both passions were colliding. The passion he held for his con and the passion for her. He knew which was greater and decided to end it all.

‘Your time is running out’ uttered Em.

The scent of her breath got his hormones rushing. He wanted to lose himself in the pleasure that both of them could experience only with each other. They were soul mates. Part of the soul that was caught inside each of them was throbbing to unite. He could wait no longer. Neither could she.

‘We have played enough with each other darling. Lets start something better than what we are caught up with’, said he.

The honey timber like voice of his made her melt. She started to say ‘You really think I get …’ he interrupted her placing his mouth on hers.

That was the end of the discussion. Hours later, with both their physical selves exhausted but the desire still burning deep, they realized what they were meant to be for each other. Their love and passion for each other was insatiable. They could go on like this forever.

She got up from among covering herself with the sheets. He pulled her back kissed her deeply and said ‘Let me fix u a drink baby’

He fixed two glasses of martini with a dash of lime. He asked her ‘ Do you want some add on ?’

‘ Yeah put a das of sweet syrup in both of them and you’ll see the difference it makes from the drink you have mixed’

He came back with the glasses and carefully climbed in to the bed. She smiled at him and thanked him.

‘Lets drink for us baby’ said he and she came forward and kissed him so passionately that he wanted to throw away and get back to heaven.

‘Yes Carl’.

They toasted ‘To Us’, and took a sip each.

‘ Hmmm Em, I dint know sugar could work wonders on this drink’ Said Carl.

‘ Well woman know what exactly is the best right honey? And I knew right from the beginning what I have wanted. This is our destiny and I have waited Carl’

He took more sips and said ‘ Feels so great now having the best woman by my side and having my favorite drink altered to be the best. I realize what I was missing. I’ve finally found the missing part in me. I am reaching peace’ said he staring at her.

Seeing that she was listening intently he continued ‘You have no idea since how long I’ve waited. It seems like now is the perfect time for the perfect ending. You don’t realize the emotions you’ve stirred in me Em ever since the first time you thwarted me. The man in me was raging to be at peace and now its going to be satisfied way beyond it was ever.’

In a fraction of second he drew a gun, a mantissa model. By the time she could gather her wits her fear showed on her face. He aimed at the pint below her ribs and fired. She wouldn’t die immediately. He wanted time until she heard every bit of what he had to say. It pained him to see her go stiff but he was satisfied.

‘Em, you can hear me right ?. I love you but I love my work more. You satisfy me way beyond my cravings but I was born to be number one and I couldn’t let you thwart me every time. I was drawn to the woman you were but it gave me sleepless nights. I was born to win and finally I have check mated you in this game of our. Rest in peace, love’ Said he and kissed her forehead.

He got up and kicked her off the bed, and took his position on it and loudly said ‘ I am the king and the throne shall belong only to me’ and finished the drink.

She was mumbling something in her deathbed. He walked near her wanting to get the final satisfaction of hearing her last words of fear and defeat. This was by far his most victorious fight he had knowing never again would anybody challenge him. He bent closer and once again felt his heart cringing at the pathetic sight of her. She was a lovely devil.

‘Carlll , you havvve nottt won’, she slurred on her words ‘ I’veee checkkk mmmated you aaas well. Yyourrr drinnkk….’ her voice trailed of f ...

He could feel himself choking. He clutched his throat and spat out blood. Before he could shout at her ‘ B- I – t- c-‘ he collapsed dead right over her body.

She choked at the weight for the last time and smiled a win and took her last breath. She Had devised to kill him and reach the top as well. She was tired of being drawn to his manliness. She knew from her past experiences that men would just use women and she had hated the idea of her belonging to anybody. She was exhausted by her attraction to Carl and had decided to end it by poisoning him. It was the final victory
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Sep 21, 2008

Let the music play

I came across this tag some time back. I thought it was something interesting. I'm doing it!

All you have to do is to put your media player on shuffle and put your songs in there and let the answers come out. Questions are given below. Keep moving to the next shuffled song to anaswer the next question.

These are my answers:

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “HOW ARE YOU",YOU SAY?
You are beautiful’ by James Blunt
.. and then I add, "Fine! And you?"


2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
‘Freak out..’ by Avril Lavigne
In a way, it does describe my way of living.


3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
‘ Breaking the law’ by Judas Priest
Its pretty important that the person has his own way of doing things.


4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
‘ I am shipping up to Boston..’ by Dropkick Murphy
It translates to ‘Party mood’


5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
‘ Paath shaala (Be a rebel)’ from RDB
:D


6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
‘ My life be like…’ by Grits
Yeah sortof…!

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Sanitarium’ by Metallica
Uff… there are definitely loads of ma friends who think I’ve been unleashed from one..!!


8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
‘ Somewhere I belong..’ by Linkin Park
Yeah.. definitely..


9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
‘ Run away’ by Linkin Park
O my gawd..!! I m always thinking that because I m forced to be confined in the classroom by a threat called ‘attendance’


10. WHAT IS 2+2?
‘ Do you know’ by Enrique Iglesius
So you thought math is that easy..?!?


11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND/S?
‘In My darkest hour’ by Megadeth
Definitely they ‘ve been there


12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
‘ I’m ready’ by Bryan Adams
Umm… Errr… !!!!!!


13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
‘ Wasted years’ by Iron Maiden
The Gods have always been right..!


14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
When I grow up..?!? I think I m already too old.. I don’t wanna be older..!
But anyways the song is ‘Paisa Paisa’ from Apna Sapna Money Money
NO..!! NO WAY..!!!


15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Tu Bin bataye..’ from RDB
Mayb..!


16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
‘Tera hi Karam’ from Karam..
no comments..!


17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Pappu Can’t Dance’ Jaane tu ya Jaane na
Its official that I m looking for somebody with two right feet for my two left feet..


18.WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Hallowed be Thy name’ from Iron Maiden
I already told you the Gods are right.. dint I?


19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Socha Hain..’ from Rock On
PER-FF-ECT…!!


20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Petrified’ by Fort Minor
Yeah that’s what you would be if you knew.. :D


21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
‘O my friend’ from Happy Days (telugu)


22. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
‘ let the music play’ – Shamur
Your Command is my wish ‘O mighty player’


I tag Akshath,Archana, Fahim,Harjith, Rashmi ,Sharath , Tony and anybody else who is ready to take it up.. Just let me know though.. :)


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Sep 14, 2008

Fury of the hell



Enveloped in darkness,
Seated beside the window..

Drops of rain splattering on my face…

Lightening illuminating the scene for a split second..
I see the trees fighting the mighty wind

The thunder sends a shiver down my spine..

The memories of the past haunt me..

Nature seems to have understood me perfectly well…
Its reflecting the raging storm within me..

I so wish the drops from the heaven would wash away the pain I feel within..
But, I realize that, today its no ordinary rain..

Indeed it seems like the fury of the hell,
my broken self…!

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Aug 5, 2008

I do not sleep






Seeing her parents despairing over her being in her deathbed,
She called out to her father n handed him a closed envolope.
And requested it to be opened only after her Death.


The day when the envolope had to be opened came.
Trembling n crying the father opened it.

The letter read:


Dearest ever mom n dad,

"Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I m not thr, I do not sleep.
I m the sparkle in the snow.
I m ripple in the wave.
I m the cloud in the sky.
I m the dewdrop on the leaf.
I m the shredded leaves that blow.
I m the sunlight on growing grain.
I m the gentle summer rain.
I m the quiet bird of the night.
Circling about; Taking flight.
So do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep."


Please get these words engraved on my grave. I will not stand putting u through grief anytime.
Loadsa love,
Emma.






P.S : Based on the poem " Do not stand at my grave and weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye
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Jul 26, 2008

The most beautiful girl


She looked into the mirror. Its reflection showed the face of a fair complexioned girl with delicate features. Her hazel eyes had innocence and frank curiosity. Her wavy black hair made her all the more stunning. She turned a little to her left first, then to her right and examined herself. She brushed her hair a little, set up one particular fringe on the forehead. She smiled. Acknowledging that she looked stunningly beautiful in her all black outfit , complete with the chain and the bracelet he had gifted her. The thought of him made her feel warm from within. She was ready for him. He would definitely be enthralled to see her like this.


He was waiting. He had finally managed to find time in his heavily busy schedule. He regretted not meeting her often but there was little he could do. Just a few more minutes and he would see his darling.


As she stepped out he looked at her with love filled eyes.


There was only thing he could think. ‘ She is the most beautiful girl’.


Walking a few steps she jumped into his arms. He lifted her and placed a kiss over her forehead.


Missed you daddy..!!’ she said, tightly clinging her 8 year old self on to him.
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Jul 25, 2008

Times change




Remember the day you held me last,
Oh ! the times change so fast…!!
The sand clock has turned,
Over and over again, in my mind the memories are churned..!!
Those times when you made sure I always had a smile on my lips,
Each moment, like the pages of a book it flips,
To reveal yet another one.
But now the damage is done.
Those times are over,
I understand nothing is forever.
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Jul 17, 2008

Free spirit






" Once upon a time there was a bird. He was adorned with two perfect wings and with glossy, colorful marvelous feathers. In short he was a creature made to fly in the sky, bringing joy to everyone who saw him.

One day, a woman saw this bird and fell in love with him. She watched his flight, with her mouth wide in amazement, her heart pounding, her eyes shining with excitement. She invited the bird to fly with her, and the two traveled across the sky in perfect harmony. She admired and venerated and celebrated that bird.

But then she thought: he might want to visit far-off mountains! And she was very afraid, afraid that she would never feel the same way about any other bird. And she felt envy, envy for the bird’s ability to fly.

And she felt alone.

And she thought: ‘ I m going to set a trap. The next time the bird appears, he will never leave again.’

The bird, who also in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in a cage.

She looked at the bird evry day. There he was, the object of her passion, and she showed him to her friends who said: ‘Now you have everything you could possibly want.’ However, a strange transformation began to take place: now that she had the bird she no longer needed to woo him, she began to lose interest. The bird, unable to fly and express the true meaning of his life, began to waste away and his feathers to lose their gloss; he grew ugly; and the woman no longer paid attention to him, except by feeding him and cleaning out his cage.

One day, the bird died. The woman felt terribly sad and spent all her time thinking about him. But she did not remember the cage, she thought only of the day she had seen him for the first time, flying contentedly amongst the clouds.

If she had looked more deeply into herself, she would have realized that what thrilled her about the bird was his freedom, the energy of his wings in motion, not his physical body.

Without the bird, her life too lost all meaning, and Death came knocking at her door. ‘ Why have you come?’ she asked Death. ‘ So that you can fly once more with him across the sky,’ death replied. ‘if you had allowed him to come and go, you would have loved and admired him even more; alas, you now need me in order to find him again.’
"


This story is an extract from the book ‘Eleven minutes’ by Paulo Coelho.

I see that our lives can be associated with the story. The woman in the story is each one of us. The bird is anything that we may seek. So lets take an example and say the bird is love. Many of you might say ‘I don’t seek love, I’ve better things in life’. For such people all I can say is wake up. Being born as humans.. err I wud better say being born as us, meaning anybody, all of us do seek out for love be it for a person, be it for a sport or say music. While you might never run out of love for a sport o music or any other passion why is that we run out of love for people..? Taking this point back to the story lemme elaborate. Most of the people seek love. The eternal , pure kind of love that can stand the test of time. Okay god is really great, so you even manage to get it. So all is happy and well. Life is going guns. Suddenly one day some feeling of insecurity comes over and then you try doing things to encage that particular feeling of bliss in a status called relationship, maybe because you want to flaunt if off to your friends and family and well wishers, blah. Blah, blah or maybe because you think you think it as the inevitable. Whatever maybe the reason, you set up a well-defined boundary. aah there is one more case where people start taking things for granted that they have already have in their hands something so valuable tied to them n they get into the confidence that they will posses it always no matter what. That’s when the magic begins to ebb away. Just like water dripping out off a cracked pot, like a flower withering away, like the candle light flickering away, it just ends. The point is if one had just lived on in the good feeling without expecting anything out of it, without thinking of possessing it, maybe then the ‘love’ would have stayed on for long giving the glow of happiness n peace.

The things we desire all have a free spirit in them. Just for our own good it would be best to let the spirit lead us.

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Here we go.....



Blogging …!!!!
Its Been on my mind since a long time…Just trying my hand o rather my mind at it…
I've been writing stuff ever since I can remember.. Many a times I can pour out my feelings and emotions through writing.. There are certain things I strongly feel about and many a time I just dont find the right person to talk about it to.. Think its time to kick the laziness out of my butt and put up something on the blog for people to read as well.
So then, here we go…!!!!
(From the next post)
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