Solitary Contemplations

An inner voice

Apr 20, 2012

Every afternoon..

I sipped tea while she sipped coffee as the music of rain pouring down upon the asbestos sheeted roof filled the room.

She looked at the rain drops clinging onto the glass pane while I looked at the tear drops clinging onto her cheek.

Her heart wished to see the beautiful patterns of the drops of rain on the glass pane while my heart wished to see her flawless cheek dotted by drops of her tears which, she never wiped away.

She looked beautiful especially, when she smiled. But, she looked amazingly beautiful when she cried.

The tear drops, like pearls added beauty to the long eyelashes that cradled her big black eyes.

Each drop that fell from her eyes was a unique gem containing her essence in their purest form. For, tears are pure, purer than the fake smiles.

Each afternoon, she would come by, walking across my lawn, stumbling against pots, apologizing and grinning sheepishly. The grin reminded me of my childhood. It was the same grin flashed by a kid who had bullied me.

I hated it.

So each afternoon, when she came by, I narrated stories-tearjerkers. I made her cry-out of happiness! And when, I couldn’t tolerate her smiles, I made her cry-out of sadness. But, she came every afternoon without fail. A routine, formed for life.

I just made her cry every single afternoon when she visited a wheelchair confine that I am, without ever reminding her of my disability, without ever reminding her that she was the one who ran her car over me in drunken rage !

Image : A pic clicked by me

***

Apr 18, 2012

Captivated - 55 Fiction #4

She looked at me with sad eyes even though her lips were half smiling.

The same look which had captivated me for years, which had me tethered here.

But now, I wanted to leave, had to.

I stepped out of the house, while my unfinished painting of her, turned to embers along with her memories.

Image courtesy : A travelogue in http://convassor.info

***

Apr 1, 2012

Tattered !

Surrounded she was by sisters and brothers of her kind.

Yet, her heart yearned for a company, albeit of a different kind.

Bored of the same old conversations with her siblings, she sighed loudly “I wish for someone afar, who would tell me the tales of a different life, of a different existence.”

Wishes and dreams, they say come true eventually. And one day, when she heard the stranger approach her slowly, she knew her dreams had come true.

His initial apprehension ebbed away with her willing submission.

She heard, all that she wanted. Charmed she was, by his ways. His caresses, she enjoyed.

Over the time, she swirled into the breeze, whiffs of mistrust, if there were any.

He was so very gently, so very tender that she did not even notice that he had started devouring her essence of existence. Scars, she oversaw and holes of abuse, she neglected.

"What is a bit of hurt when you love someone truly", she thought.

Warnings, she dint pay heed to. And one fine day, all that was left of her were just threads of tattered dreams for him to walk over.

****

Inspiration clearly were from the pics clicked by SmartAlec. Thank you for clicking wonderful pictures that almost always tell a story which inspire deep thoughts and make me pen down a few lines from time to time :). Keep clicking !

Even though the story seems to be of a leaf and snail, the occurrence of dreams being ripped off in real life is not uncommon; though in real life, grit and strength to hang in there shall help one recover and emerge stronger to live dreams in spite of the hurt. Hail the undying spirit of human will !

Mar 28, 2012

November rain

Coiled threads of memories intertwine with jumbled emotions just like my fingers on his hair.

Nothing has changed over the years. He still sleeps like a smiling angel.

Wasn’t it just yesterday when I set my eyes on him? Love at first sight?
No, I was already in love even before he made his dramatic entry into my life.

I have always loved November rains for the calmness they exude in spite of the heavy torrents. Wasn't it on one such night that God bestowed this gift?

The rumble of the thunder pierces my swirling thoughts. I walk to the window and stretch out my hand to catch the first few drops of November rain.

It sure is a symbol of new beginning.
Or is it a perfect ending to the relationship we share?

I curse myself for such thoughts. How can I be so doubtful, so selfish?
This relationship can never be tainted. The oozing drops of any other color, even if it is red, will just beautify it more.

But hadn’t Vani told me how things changed?
I feel torn. I am not sure any more.

I watch as the rain pours down in torrents just like my tears.

I don’t see him walk up stealthily to me. It is only after he holds my hand that I realize his presence next to me. He clasps my hand tightly and looks at me.

“Just like old times”, he says as he smiles.

We both stretch our hands into the rain together, just like the hundreds of times before. Time seems to have flown by in a jiffy.

But, he is still like the November rain- gentle, tender and loving.

“Nothing will change about us, even if I fly half away across the globe. I promise, Mom”, he says.

****

P.S : Wrote this in a jiffy and published it even though it did not turn out how I wanted it to :/

Picture : Link

Mar 17, 2012

Invitation - The consequence : Guest Entry

Read Invitation The surrender

The consequence

The seductress turned around in search of another victim.

The dismissal of the dried maple leaf wasn't a matter to mourn. It had begun its journey with the lake, not sure if the lake was a friend or an enemy. She swirled in her own notion to celebrate the victory, yet had considered to have enough time before the hunt.

He was strong; she was afraid not only of him but also of his shadow. His existence reminded her the meaning of ‘Battle of Survival’. He was powerful, strong and could not afford to care for her.

She ran hither and thither. She pleaded the maple for place to hide. Maple denied sheltering the carrier of his son’s death angel. She had no place to fight, she, now, knew the feeling called surrender. She capitulated.

She burned into vapors; He did not even realize her agony. His aim was to travel from east to west without disturbing the cycle of Mother Nature. He concentrated on his job as he shone brightly. As she rose higher and higher, she watched him furiously. She couldn’t be tranquil like the leaf. He did not bother about her trepidations.

“Rest in peace” said the Sun as the day was about to turn dark.

She walked straight into the lake in form of rain drops. She got that she wasn’t created to be alive to play around; she was existed to die to spend rest of eternity with the leaf that had surrender to her existence.

***

This was written by an angel called Snehal, for my previous blogpost. Snehal, thank you for writing this wonderful piece for me darling :)

Apart from being an amazing writer and someone who I consider one of the best writers I've come across, she's a total sweetheart of a person ! You can find her on blogspot here : $nehal

Mar 15, 2012

Invitation

My name she whispers, ever so softly.

Her fingers, they caress me.

Calling me, she has been, forever.

Her invite, it tempts me.

Seduction is her game. I thought I had seen through it and had gone past all of it, but, I think I shall fall prey soon. She’s a free spirit who taunts my bondage. She‘s a wily witch who promises to show me the pleasures of a free run. Of her capabilities, I have no doubts. For, she has the ability to take me to places I have never been to. But, I had never considered it worthy. I loved my values. I loved belonging to someone. But, now, when I am old and wrinkled, I have doubts if I am wanted here any longer.

“Do not resist me”, she says in her honey voice.

I look back at the life I spent, of the memories bygone. All my youth I have watched her sway around me, trying to lure me. It’s true that I flirted with her, swayed to a few tunes too; but, I had scoffed, even laughed at her dejected face when I rejected the offer to join her.

“One day, you will, just like the others”, she had smirked at me.

My end is near. And I knew the time has come, to let go off myself, to accept her invitation. It is better to drink the beauty of her companionship, one last time, rather than to see an abrupt end.

She smiled victoriously for she had attracted yet another victim.

Gently, she caressed me as I held her waist, swirling sweet tango. Breaking my bond with my abode, I took off with her, for a final dance, for a rendezvous, quivering because of the fierce passion she exhibited.

Accepting her invitation was worth the sights and the pleasures she had to offer. Contentment, I felt.

“Rest in peace”, the autumn breeze whispered as she blew the dried maple leaf to the nearby lake.

***

Inspiration : The photo below posted by a colleague Gopalakrishna Hariharan in SLR Bulletin Board of my company.

Thank you for permitting me to share it :)

Plus the dancing peepal leaves that I saw near the IIIT junction. (Being caught in traffic sometimes has advantages :D)

PS : This post has a guest entry contributed by an angel which I shall share in the next post !

Mar 12, 2012

Something was different today.

This was not the first time that I sat with him.

How many times had we sat on the fresh green carpet in nature’s lap leaning against the tree overlooking the pond? Countless.