The letter !

Her fragrance is fresh and rejuvenating. Her purity evident from the way she looks.

I feel a sense of divinity engulf me as I look upon the beauty that she is.

Each layer of hers adds to the mystery and to her, beauty.

She has the immense capability to hurt the one who gets close to her.

Yet, it seems that she has been revered since eternity!

I had always wondered why she was the most chosen one.

I had pondered, amused at times even looking at the attention she managed to grab every time.

I look at her closely, not for the first time. But, my questions vanish. Feelings of doubt?

Not today, not now, for I am in love!

**

I am in love with the rose that rests in my hand. I am in love with its deep red color, with the beautiful layers that it has encompassing a feeling inexplicable, with the water droplets that rests on the layers, with its long green stalk.

For, today, I finally understand why it is used as a symbol of love. It is like love itself, alluring you towards the feelings it can create, and it is like love itself because it has the capability to hurt you with its thorns. It symbolizes love perfectly - the magic and the hurt!

And what's a better gift than this to symbolize what feelings I garner for you?

Especially that you yourself are like a flesh bloom of rose. You stand, firm, tall and beautiful, with a strong foothold and no airs around, as delicate and as sensitive as the rose. A harsh breeze or a rough handling, can crumble it, just what I did to you often and sometimes you showed me the power of thorns with your actions. But somehow, you stood by me, helping me pave my way to success.

Today, when I look back, I see how little I cared for you, of how easily I kept myself away from this beautiful feeling of love.

When I see the young man over there, hold his girl's hands, looking into her eyes while she smiles, I realize what I have missed.

Today, knowing the truth, it is different. I always thought I was habituated by your presence and only felt affection for you other than the sense of responsibility I had. Knowing, you are going to be gone forever, I am scared.

Thankfully it is better late than never. Because I know the power of it !

"I love you."

Thirty two years since I saw you in the bridal wear, that too only after I tied the knot and it is strange that I have taken so many years to tell you this little thing that I am in love with you. The three words aren't sufficient to let you know how much I am in love with you  - in love with your grey eyes that express every feeling I can understand, in love with your high cheek bones that support the most beautiful smile, in love with your strong will, in love with your stubborn nature for putting your foot down when I am wrong, for fighting with me when I hurt you or ignore you, for giving a taste of my own bitter medicine at times, and for making up for being too harsh on me, for curing my ailments with your tender touch, for standing by me even after youth and strength have deserted me.

As the youngsters today inch closer to celebrate the supposed day of love, I promise to inch closer to celebrate days of love- every single day starting from this day!

Happy rose day, my darling wife !

When you finish reading this letter, you can find me in our garden, planting a rose sapling so that I can present to you a bloom of rose along with my love, affection and my entirety every single day!

Loads of love,
your aged new Romeo ;)

****

P.S: Years after shunning the entire V-day concept of encapsulating love (something I believe needs more than a single day) in a day and all the other days that precede that, something hit me today and I am all mushy-gushy, thankful and what not !!

So here, I dedicate this post of mine to my loved ones, who are extremely dear to me, and who have taught me so much about love, affection,care,emotions and nurtured me to be the person I am.

Happy Rose day !

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An evening

An extensive magic canvas, 
Streaks of pink, orange and blue,
Silhouettes of birds flying across the red sun,
By the magic of the enchanting evenings he was awed,
As the cold breeze caressed him, he drew his scarf closer.
The passing  footsteps were not the sound he heard, 
Instead, it was the clank of the coins of alms.
Memorized visions from his childhood,
Was all his blind eyes could see!

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The plunge !

A note : Some ideas just come and you feel the need to express them in a particular way. Most of the times, I write without a particular plot in my head, just going along with the flow of thoughts, letting my fingers type out whatever comes in my head and however it comes out. Here's one attempt in a form a writing that I personally feel that I am not good at. Hoping you all enjoy the read !

The plunge

An escape from tentacles,
Of shackles of boundaries,
The fight to free themselves,
From the withholding barricades.

A journey of success,
To a destiny they had wished for.
A splash and a scream penetrated their world.
Haplessness and distraught was all around!

The pained anxious eyes,
A moment was suffice,
The trodden path spiraled in jeopardy.
A brave heart for an undying sacrifice!

A subtle touch,
A gentle nudge,
An eye lock of assurance
Was all it took.

Taking a dive he plunged deep,
The needle ticked,
Yet time stood still,
The heart beats raced.

Muttered prayers,
Divine promises,
Clasping hands,
Binding love !

Amidst lapping waves,
Fighting the clutches of death
Dragging a little boy,
He emerged victorious.

Bargaining for life,
Battling against fate he returned
To an ecstatic proud lover;
and a little boy to a thankful mother !

**

Courage is the ability to take a plunge, knowing very well that you might have to sacrifice the trophy of your previous battle!

***

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The unseen rendezvous

Note : This post made it to Super 25 Shortlist of Tumbhi's short story competition 'Somewhere Sometime'.

(Link)

There were so many who she entertained,
But there was just one, for who, her heart yearned !

His short visits would never suffice. At the break of the dawn he disappeared, leaving her heart broken yet again. She would shrug it off and hide behind a mask of her happy face, alluring every passerby she found. In spite of all the attention they showered, in spite of her offering herself completely to some of them, she never felt the fulfilment that she attained in the wee hours of morning with him. The cycle continued for as long as she could remember. 

While the day progressed, she would conclude that she wouldn’t let him touch her, that she wouldn’t melt in his love, when he came for her. But, when the night gathered the dark blankets, her admirers left her all alone and her thoughts inadvertently went back to him. She held her frail heart in the bellowing wind, whispering her craving for her lover’s company.

Sometime during the night while she tumbled into the yonder of sleep, he would slip in stealthily and slowly surround her. Before she knew it, she surrendered to his cold kiss, holding him close, spending moments of pure bliss until the morning rays knocked on their door. 

Days passed, and she lost her beauty – frail and old she became! Her friends abandoned her for other beauties in their prime. She knew that she had nothing to offer to them. Loneliness was her only company! She wished for the day to go by swiftly, for the night to take over, because, even after her beauty had been vanquished, her lover had not stopped coming back to her. He did not stay longer than he did before, but each parting was different now. Difficult even, because considering her condition, they did not know if she would survive another day in the world. Savoring the little moments they shared, they continued their rendezvous, bidding many of the last good byes each and every time.

The seasons changed and the winds of fury blew. She had no strength to withstand the strong gust and gave in to meet her end.

When she was young, she had once asked him “Why don’t you stay, if you love me.”

To which, he had replied “You should know my darling, that my love for you has always existed, right from the moment I set my eyes on you, when you were just bud sealed in your protective cocoon, knowing that the cruel world waited outside to devour your beauty, but you peeped out one deep red petal at a time, slowly, confidently, swaying delicately in the breeze. I had caressed you before anyone had even discovered your beauty. I thought you loved me because you were young and did not know of the admirers that you would have, once you bloomed. But even now you wait just for me every night. I am jealous of the butterflies and bees for they can bury their secrets in your bosom throughout the day whenever you let them, but I, have just these wee hours in the morning before the sun rays touch us. I have to go leaving you alone because I want to return to you every night. I know that sometimes you wish you wouldn’t melt in my love but the truth is I melt every single day just to be with you. Our moments together might be less but remember my love, I come back only for you. The day you wither I shall annihilate my soul and join you in the ranks of the breeze.” 

The next morning when he visited, he knew she would be gone but he settled over her remains- the scattered petal that she was and the dew that he was, having the last of their unseen rendezvous!

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The battle - 55 fiction #2

She struggled hard, trying everything in her will to conquer it. It seemed never ending. Just as she thought she had it under control, it slithered like a snake out of her hands. Winning against it seemed almost impossible.

Exasperated, she cried out, “Why the hell is draping a saree such a painfully difficult task?”

***

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Fire and Ice - 55fiction # 1

"Fire and Ice" he ordered the barman; his eyes fixated at her on the dance floor as she surrounded herself with total strangers.

He lit a cigarette casually.

She alone knew of what he burned inside. Smiling, she headed towards him. 

Her icy cold lips met his,dousing the fire she had lighted, yet, again!

**

P.S : My first attempt at 55fiction

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Of beginnings and endings !

Every beginning has an end, I have been told a million times. I dreaded my beginning. Not because I dreaded my end; but, only because, I wanted my end to be special, unlike my predecessors, who got lost in the journey, unacknowledged or brushed off. Whenever the time came, all of them gathered to make their beginnings and I prayed to God, to delay the start of my life. While some of them laughed at my cowardice and some of them whispered about my selfishness, only one other of my kind stood by my side and told me she understood.

I read her heart and understood that she too had apprehensions about her beginning. When I stretched out my hand to her, she held it tightly and whispered softly to me “I, unlike you, do not care about my ending. All I wish is that I am one of those reserved for happiness. I hope I am born out of happiness!” She is indeed special, I thought. I knew none of us ever knew the reason behind our births. It was the part of the wicked game, god played. We were there just to serve one sole purpose- act as per the heart’s wishes.

Yet, we dared to dream and hope and wish - she for her dream beginning and me for my dream ending. The others laughed at our stupidity and some cursed our selfishness. But I, went on doing what I always did- wishing that the heart and the soul would understand me. Amidst this, she, the happy one, stayed by side. There were times when we both hugged each other tightly, praying that we would not be the next ones to go. I had grown to love her, and she me; but we knew we could never be together. Both of belonged to somebody else. Until the time came, we promised each other that we would be each other’s company. While we sat waiting and praying, we saw many others take form of their lives, fulfilling the purposes. We would too, one day; only that, it would serve our dreams too.

Unknown to us the day arrived.

My new life is nothing like I imagined. I knew it would be short a very short journey to my end. My only thoughts were of my ending, hoping that I would get what I had prayed for. I waited, not wanting to leave my cradle and the beautiful brown that I engulfed. The world outside was bright and I felt warm. I was alone with no others of my kind. I could feel myself swelling up and I knew my end was near.

Before I knew it, I was diving downwards, leaving a trail. As I journeyed further on the smooth surface, I looked back to see a beautiful flutter and I fell in love with the heart that commanded me. How foolish of me to have thought of my ending, this journey was enough. My life was worth every tiny second that I lived. I thought of my companion wishing she would love her journey as much as I did. Was she just behind me or was her time a different one! Of this, I had no idea. I closed my vision and braced myself to meet my nearing end. I sparkled one last shine, waiting to hit nothingness.

**

“Now that you are mine, I wish you heart would never experience any pain. And if it does, I promise, I shall kiss away all your tears starting from this one”, the man told his newlywed wife, looking into her tear filled brown eyes adorned by thick black eyelashes, as he pressed his lips against her cheek, where the lone drop of tear rested almost about to fall. The prayers were answered and the tear was indeed special, the first one to be kissed by a loving heart.

The woman's heart swelled with happiness and out came the happy tear sparkling,tracing the same path as her companion to unite with him.

The two tear drops served their special purposes along with fulfilling their dreams of beginnings and endings.

***

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Interweaved

The day and the night;
Your hands and mine.

The lightening and the rain;
Your eyes and mine.

The sky and the clouds;
Your thoughts and mine.

The stars and the moon;
Your dreams and mine.

The clashing waves and the thunder
Your beating heart and mine.

Heaven and earth;
Your life and mine.

Interweaved threads of two souls;
The breeze and the swaying creeper;
You and I.

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Wrote these random lines over a week ago. Random, yes; but the way I see it and feel it,its true.

P.S: I so wish I had the ability to express feelings in poetic words. I try and each time I feel dissatisfied that I just cant seem to find the right words and put them in the right places!

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She never cried !

Her parents thought she was an amazing baby;
In spite of the lack of somebody to cradle,
the grandmother wondered why she never cried.

Her brother thought she was an amazing playmate;
In spite of the toddler pinching her hard,
the mother wondered why she never cried.

Her friends thought she was an amazing shoulder to lean on;
In spite of their bitching about her,
the brother wondered why she never cried.

Her husband thought she was an amazing wife;
In spite of him cheating on her,
the friend wondered why she never cried.

Her children thought her as an amazing mum;
In spite of the difficulty they posed in their growing years,
the husband wondered why she never cried.

There came a day when her husband passed away;
In spite of her ill-health amidst this,
the children wondered why she never cried.

The little granddaughter thought she was an amazing grandma;
to have never cried and been so strong all through the years
“You shall be my idol”, she proclaimed.
But when she was being taken away to an old age home,
the little girl wondered why she cried!

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The original poem was written by me way back in 2002. Tried rewriting it with some editions and published in Infy blogs sometime in July.

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Betrayal

 Disclaimer : Posted in Infosys Blog in July.
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Betrayal

The clock struck ten.

He stared at the wooden floor. The yellow lighting of the bulb that swayed, cast long shadows of all the objects around. It was unbelievably quiet. The only noise was the fast breathing of the slender woman in front of him.

She was dressed in a brown flowing long skirt, a white shirt and a brown waistcoat. Her hair was tied into a ponytail with a few strands of hair falling on her face. Her face was what people referred to as angelic. The glow of the light made her face more radiant. In the entire gloomy setting she stood out, like a fair angel.

“Irony”, thought he.

He looked at the horrified expression on the beautiful face.

He told her loudly “Today it will end!”

She took a step forward and looked at him pleadingly. The pained expression of hers was heart wrenching. But, he wasn’t going to fall for that one. In a slow practiced action he yanked his pistol that was tucked behind his back with his right hand and pointed it towards her. It was heavy.

She begged him “Pleaase listen to me! Forgive me. I know I have betrayed your trust but you do not need to do this.”

Seeing no change in his demeanor she continued “We can sort this out. I have acted with best interests in my heart”

“What could I have done John? I was alone and scared. I waited for you. You never came. With every minute I was losing it. I had no other way out. I kept a lookout for you and have always waited. I have always cared for you. You know that. It never ceased!” she cried, the pain in her voice evident.

“Lies”, he bellowed like a mad man as the lightening flashed. It was followed by the heavy rumbling noise of thunder. It was as if hell was unleashing fury on the mortals.

He looked like a man in agony in spite of the anger emanating from his actions.

With a wail, she knelt down and screamed out “O Gods! Spare my poor John of this misery. I can see him caught between sorrow and fury. I am the one who wreaked this wretch upon us both. He needn’t turn into a killer because of the devil in me”, she sobbed.

His arms slackened at the sight of beautiful Margaret looking so pitiful.

In a flurry of movements he saw a metal vase come hurling down at him. He ducked and the vase crashed into the glass table behind him.

Enraged, he stepped forward towards her.

She had seized the opportunity when he had mellowed down, to grab the vase by the low table next to her where she was kneeling and had hurled it at him. What she hadn’t anticipated was his unusually quick reflexes .He had always been slow witted.

Still seated, looking at him recoil, she moved herself backwards with the thrust of her legs and hands which seemed to quiver with fear. She looked pitiful. It seemed so wretched to unleash such wraith on a beautiful creature like her.

His movement further near her made her shudder.

He put his left hand on her head.

Stroking her hair,sighing, he said, “I cannot kill you. Even though you hurled the vase at me, I know you did it out of despair. It brought me out of my madness”.

When she looked at him with a doubt, he knelt in front of her, one leg on the ground and one leg bent, lifted her chin up and said “You are too beautiful to die, my love. Promise to never betray or leave me ever again.”

The contours on her face relaxed and she broke into her enchanting smile.

“Never! Never again shall I hurt you”, she crooned.

He looked into her brown eyes and bent closer to her face.

Truly convinced that she was out of any eminent danger for at least that period of time, she leaned forward to kiss him.

A gunshot that reverberated through the surroundings could be heard the very next moment !

.


.


.

The survivor looked at the lifeless body sprawled on the floor one last time and walked out of the door.

**

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