The unseen rendezvous

Note : This post made it to Super 25 Shortlist of Tumbhi's short story competition 'Somewhere Sometime'.

(Link)

There were so many who she entertained,
But there was just one, for who, her heart yearned !

His short visits would never suffice. At the break of the dawn he disappeared, leaving her heart broken yet again. She would shrug it off and hide behind a mask of her happy face, alluring every passerby she found. In spite of all the attention they showered, in spite of her offering herself completely to some of them, she never felt the fulfilment that she attained in the wee hours of morning with him. The cycle continued for as long as she could remember. 

While the day progressed, she would conclude that she wouldn’t let him touch her, that she wouldn’t melt in his love, when he came for her. But, when the night gathered the dark blankets, her admirers left her all alone and her thoughts inadvertently went back to him. She held her frail heart in the bellowing wind, whispering her craving for her lover’s company.

Sometime during the night while she tumbled into the yonder of sleep, he would slip in stealthily and slowly surround her. Before she knew it, she surrendered to his cold kiss, holding him close, spending moments of pure bliss until the morning rays knocked on their door. 

Days passed, and she lost her beauty – frail and old she became! Her friends abandoned her for other beauties in their prime. She knew that she had nothing to offer to them. Loneliness was her only company! She wished for the day to go by swiftly, for the night to take over, because, even after her beauty had been vanquished, her lover had not stopped coming back to her. He did not stay longer than he did before, but each parting was different now. Difficult even, because considering her condition, they did not know if she would survive another day in the world. Savoring the little moments they shared, they continued their rendezvous, bidding many of the last good byes each and every time.

The seasons changed and the winds of fury blew. She had no strength to withstand the strong gust and gave in to meet her end.

When she was young, she had once asked him “Why don’t you stay, if you love me.”

To which, he had replied “You should know my darling, that my love for you has always existed, right from the moment I set my eyes on you, when you were just bud sealed in your protective cocoon, knowing that the cruel world waited outside to devour your beauty, but you peeped out one deep red petal at a time, slowly, confidently, swaying delicately in the breeze. I had caressed you before anyone had even discovered your beauty. I thought you loved me because you were young and did not know of the admirers that you would have, once you bloomed. But even now you wait just for me every night. I am jealous of the butterflies and bees for they can bury their secrets in your bosom throughout the day whenever you let them, but I, have just these wee hours in the morning before the sun rays touch us. I have to go leaving you alone because I want to return to you every night. I know that sometimes you wish you wouldn’t melt in my love but the truth is I melt every single day just to be with you. Our moments together might be less but remember my love, I come back only for you. The day you wither I shall annihilate my soul and join you in the ranks of the breeze.” 

The next morning when he visited, he knew she would be gone but he settled over her remains- the scattered petal that she was and the dew that he was, having the last of their unseen rendezvous!

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The battle - 55 fiction #2

She struggled hard, trying everything in her will to conquer it. It seemed never ending. Just as she thought she had it under control, it slithered like a snake out of her hands. Winning against it seemed almost impossible.

Exasperated, she cried out, “Why the hell is draping a saree such a painfully difficult task?”

***

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Fire and Ice - 55fiction # 1

"Fire and Ice" he ordered the barman; his eyes fixated at her on the dance floor as she surrounded herself with total strangers.

He lit a cigarette casually.

She alone knew of what he burned inside. Smiling, she headed towards him. 

Her icy cold lips met his,dousing the fire she had lighted, yet, again!

**

P.S : My first attempt at 55fiction

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Of beginnings and endings !

Every beginning has an end, I have been told a million times. I dreaded my beginning. Not because I dreaded my end; but, only because, I wanted my end to be special, unlike my predecessors, who got lost in the journey, unacknowledged or brushed off. Whenever the time came, all of them gathered to make their beginnings and I prayed to God, to delay the start of my life. While some of them laughed at my cowardice and some of them whispered about my selfishness, only one other of my kind stood by my side and told me she understood.

I read her heart and understood that she too had apprehensions about her beginning. When I stretched out my hand to her, she held it tightly and whispered softly to me “I, unlike you, do not care about my ending. All I wish is that I am one of those reserved for happiness. I hope I am born out of happiness!” She is indeed special, I thought. I knew none of us ever knew the reason behind our births. It was the part of the wicked game, god played. We were there just to serve one sole purpose- act as per the heart’s wishes.

Yet, we dared to dream and hope and wish - she for her dream beginning and me for my dream ending. The others laughed at our stupidity and some cursed our selfishness. But I, went on doing what I always did- wishing that the heart and the soul would understand me. Amidst this, she, the happy one, stayed by side. There were times when we both hugged each other tightly, praying that we would not be the next ones to go. I had grown to love her, and she me; but we knew we could never be together. Both of belonged to somebody else. Until the time came, we promised each other that we would be each other’s company. While we sat waiting and praying, we saw many others take form of their lives, fulfilling the purposes. We would too, one day; only that, it would serve our dreams too.

Unknown to us the day arrived.

My new life is nothing like I imagined. I knew it would be short a very short journey to my end. My only thoughts were of my ending, hoping that I would get what I had prayed for. I waited, not wanting to leave my cradle and the beautiful brown that I engulfed. The world outside was bright and I felt warm. I was alone with no others of my kind. I could feel myself swelling up and I knew my end was near.

Before I knew it, I was diving downwards, leaving a trail. As I journeyed further on the smooth surface, I looked back to see a beautiful flutter and I fell in love with the heart that commanded me. How foolish of me to have thought of my ending, this journey was enough. My life was worth every tiny second that I lived. I thought of my companion wishing she would love her journey as much as I did. Was she just behind me or was her time a different one! Of this, I had no idea. I closed my vision and braced myself to meet my nearing end. I sparkled one last shine, waiting to hit nothingness.

**

“Now that you are mine, I wish you heart would never experience any pain. And if it does, I promise, I shall kiss away all your tears starting from this one”, the man told his newlywed wife, looking into her tear filled brown eyes adorned by thick black eyelashes, as he pressed his lips against her cheek, where the lone drop of tear rested almost about to fall. The prayers were answered and the tear was indeed special, the first one to be kissed by a loving heart.

The woman's heart swelled with happiness and out came the happy tear sparkling,tracing the same path as her companion to unite with him.

The two tear drops served their special purposes along with fulfilling their dreams of beginnings and endings.

***

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Interweaved

The day and the night;
Your hands and mine.

The lightening and the rain;
Your eyes and mine.

The sky and the clouds;
Your thoughts and mine.

The stars and the moon;
Your dreams and mine.

The clashing waves and the thunder
Your beating heart and mine.

Heaven and earth;
Your life and mine.

Interweaved threads of two souls;
The breeze and the swaying creeper;
You and I.

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Wrote these random lines over a week ago. Random, yes; but the way I see it and feel it,its true.

P.S: I so wish I had the ability to express feelings in poetic words. I try and each time I feel dissatisfied that I just cant seem to find the right words and put them in the right places!

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She never cried !

Her parents thought she was an amazing baby;
In spite of the lack of somebody to cradle,
the grandmother wondered why she never cried.

Her brother thought she was an amazing playmate;
In spite of the toddler pinching her hard,
the mother wondered why she never cried.

Her friends thought she was an amazing shoulder to lean on;
In spite of their bitching about her,
the brother wondered why she never cried.

Her husband thought she was an amazing wife;
In spite of him cheating on her,
the friend wondered why she never cried.

Her children thought her as an amazing mum;
In spite of the difficulty they posed in their growing years,
the husband wondered why she never cried.

There came a day when her husband passed away;
In spite of her ill-health amidst this,
the children wondered why she never cried.

The little granddaughter thought she was an amazing grandma;
to have never cried and been so strong all through the years
“You shall be my idol”, she proclaimed.
But when she was being taken away to an old age home,
the little girl wondered why she cried!

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The original poem was written by me way back in 2002. Tried rewriting it with some editions and published in Infy blogs sometime in July.

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Betrayal

 Disclaimer : Posted in Infosys Blog in July.
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Betrayal

The clock struck ten.

He stared at the wooden floor. The yellow lighting of the bulb that swayed, cast long shadows of all the objects around. It was unbelievably quiet. The only noise was the fast breathing of the slender woman in front of him.

She was dressed in a brown flowing long skirt, a white shirt and a brown waistcoat. Her hair was tied into a ponytail with a few strands of hair falling on her face. Her face was what people referred to as angelic. The glow of the light made her face more radiant. In the entire gloomy setting she stood out, like a fair angel.

“Irony”, thought he.

He looked at the horrified expression on the beautiful face.

He told her loudly “Today it will end!”

She took a step forward and looked at him pleadingly. The pained expression of hers was heart wrenching. But, he wasn’t going to fall for that one. In a slow practiced action he yanked his pistol that was tucked behind his back with his right hand and pointed it towards her. It was heavy.

She begged him “Pleaase listen to me! Forgive me. I know I have betrayed your trust but you do not need to do this.”

Seeing no change in his demeanor she continued “We can sort this out. I have acted with best interests in my heart”

“What could I have done John? I was alone and scared. I waited for you. You never came. With every minute I was losing it. I had no other way out. I kept a lookout for you and have always waited. I have always cared for you. You know that. It never ceased!” she cried, the pain in her voice evident.

“Lies”, he bellowed like a mad man as the lightening flashed. It was followed by the heavy rumbling noise of thunder. It was as if hell was unleashing fury on the mortals.

He looked like a man in agony in spite of the anger emanating from his actions.

With a wail, she knelt down and screamed out “O Gods! Spare my poor John of this misery. I can see him caught between sorrow and fury. I am the one who wreaked this wretch upon us both. He needn’t turn into a killer because of the devil in me”, she sobbed.

His arms slackened at the sight of beautiful Margaret looking so pitiful.

In a flurry of movements he saw a metal vase come hurling down at him. He ducked and the vase crashed into the glass table behind him.

Enraged, he stepped forward towards her.

She had seized the opportunity when he had mellowed down, to grab the vase by the low table next to her where she was kneeling and had hurled it at him. What she hadn’t anticipated was his unusually quick reflexes .He had always been slow witted.

Still seated, looking at him recoil, she moved herself backwards with the thrust of her legs and hands which seemed to quiver with fear. She looked pitiful. It seemed so wretched to unleash such wraith on a beautiful creature like her.

His movement further near her made her shudder.

He put his left hand on her head.

Stroking her hair,sighing, he said, “I cannot kill you. Even though you hurled the vase at me, I know you did it out of despair. It brought me out of my madness”.

When she looked at him with a doubt, he knelt in front of her, one leg on the ground and one leg bent, lifted her chin up and said “You are too beautiful to die, my love. Promise to never betray or leave me ever again.”

The contours on her face relaxed and she broke into her enchanting smile.

“Never! Never again shall I hurt you”, she crooned.

He looked into her brown eyes and bent closer to her face.

Truly convinced that she was out of any eminent danger for at least that period of time, she leaned forward to kiss him.

A gunshot that reverberated through the surroundings could be heard the very next moment !

.


.


.

The survivor looked at the lifeless body sprawled on the floor one last time and walked out of the door.

**

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A step forward

Those eyes always mesmerized her. That smile always exhilarated her senses.

While the rest of the day passed in a fast blur, those few moments in the evenings seemed to last a lifetime. She couldn’t remember when the wide, sparkling hazel eyes first caught her attention. The combination of the mop of curly black hair, the thin eyebrows, the deep set eyes, the round face, and the chubby cheeks along with the dimples that formed had her hooked .She looked forward every single day to be lost in awe. Those moments added meaning to her life.

Her desire was simple. To yield to the fascination, be able to clasp his hands, to feel his fingers around hers. Just once. Simple desires were out of bounds for her. She did not understand why but she knew she had to comply with the rules and be satisfied with just watching him, which itself was a great joy.

Evenings were cold and his smiles rare. Yet, she waited patiently, without missing a single flutter, just for the warmth that she could garner when those pink lips curved slightly upwards and the otherwise flawless surface of his cheeks was adorned with the dimples.

**

As an orange maple leaf dancing along the wind, came spiraling down at her, she held her hand to catch it. At the same moment out the corner of her eyes she saw his stretched out hands across the narrow path. The leaf settled down between them. She could see his longing eyes as she picked it up.

She felt herself giving away to the alluring image of the hand stretched out towards her. Gathering her guts, she took a step forward only to be reminded by the warnings. Torn between the two, she wistfully looked at him; his smile did the trick. Looking around to make sure nobody noticed, she took slow and steady steps forward. As she reached closer, she felt her breathing get heavy. What if he screamed at her ugliness like others! What if he stopped smiling! No, she couldn’t let that happen. She contemplated throwing the leaf at him and running back when he bent precariously, with outstretched hand.

The last few strides she that took were mostly the fastest and the bravest she had ever taken. Her timely intervention prevented him from toppling down to a fatal fall. He smiled encouragingly. She took a step back from him, and offered the leaf to him on her outstretched palm. She waited for him to pick it up. What happened next astonished her; she wanted to scream with joy as his fingers enveloped her index finger. She stared at his sweet smile in awe. She was delighted to know that he wanted to hold her hand, just like she had always wished. Maybe he was the god’s angel that her mum spoke of.

As she stared into his eyes, and he back into hers, she felt her knees buckle and a warm wave wash over her. The moment seemed to last forever, as though each grain of sand trickled by extra slowly, in the sand clock of time just to let her have the beauty of the moment extended.
A tear trickled down on her cheek. She knew the moment had to end. As she stepped back, he clung to her forward leaning over precariously again.

**

“How dare you?!” a voice screamed out and she found herself on the ground. A loud commotion had issued but all she could remember was the feeling of exhilarated elation a few moments ago.

**

She gave a look of longing out of the window every evening. Her outings to the park had stopped.

**

She didn’t know that the change was because of a letter that had arrived at her doorstep days ago which read

Respected Sir,
In eve of the events that occurred last evening, with two year old Kevin almost being pushed by your daughter to a gruesome fall of the bench which luckily was avoided thanks to the timely intervention of Mrs. Smith, we have come to a definite conclusion. We wish to revoke the permissions we had earlier issued. Your mentally challenged fifteen year old daughter, Arianna will not be allowed to enter the children’s park area hereon owing to the danger she poses. Any violation of the same will result in your evacuation from the society. Considering the fact that you are behind your down payment already, we sincerely request you to keep your daughter away from the other children.

Thanking you,
The president,
The society welfare committee

**

Arianna had taken her step forward while the others are yet to step forward from their hapless circles.

As for Arianna, she lives her life contentedly reminiscing her magical moment when she held Kevin’s hand.

****
P.S : While walking back home yesterday evening, heads up, music blasting in my ears I was distracted by a small scream . Turning around I saw a "special child" in crutches; her contorted face broke into a smile so beautiful that my heart melted. For a minute I couldn't gather the guts to look her in the eye. She, a mentally challenged girl , who screamed out of happiness with every step she took, had the heart out to smile at a total stranger. I smiled back at her and resumed sighing sadly at the self centered creatures , the otherwise so called normal people like us have become; worrying incessantly about things that don’t even matter while that girl could smile. Indeed she is a special child.

This post is dedicated to her, whose name I don't know but who taught me something very important yesterday.

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Pellucid

“In spite of the darkness around, I can see your curled up silhouette on the bed.

I wish I could come and hug you while you are in your sweet siesta and you would not know of it!

I wish I could kiss your forehead and run my hands through your hair while you are lost in dreamland.

I wish I could understand what you mumble, see what you see when you lay oblivious of the cruel world outside.

I wish I could hold you close when you shiver in sleep.

I wish I could see you sleep and lose myself in the same somnolence lying next to you”

Sweeping a last glance, she closed the door and took her heavy step stealthily. She was late but, she had no other option. She couldn’t be disposed to do more than this. 

**

Hours later, she sighed at the familiarity of the darkness she spent. The same old routine. Each day was different, a new struggle.Yet, they were perennially indistinguishable. 

Lying beside her was he, in deep slumber, the rise and fall of his convex abdomen with each breath he took,  distinct, in spite of the darkness. 

Whether it was cacophonous or alarmingly quiet, she could never figure. All she waited was for the needle to tick by, for the stars to fade, for the first rays of light to appear in the distant horizon 

**

The whispers, the pointing fingers did not bother her. Neither did the lecherous glares nor, the nefarious smiles. They were all obscurely clear yet, pellucidly indistinct. 

The splash of cold water hit her face, washing away her makeup, removing her mask.

The morning babble emanating from the street outside was welcoming.

She could see him clearly now. Nearing him, she brushed off his disheveled hair falling on his forehead. Before she could inch her lips nearer to his closed eyes, he opened them, threw her a look which he did every morning and bolted towards the bathroom. 

Her silence said “You don’t understand now son. But, one day you will.”

There were questions but to her, her life was pellucid.

He would be gone for the day in an hour, and she, back to her mask a while after that. 

Changing from her garish clothes, she put the money she earned the previous night into her savings box and set to make breakfast for him before he dashed off to school.

He would devour what she was about to cook for him forgetting everything else. He would be her beloved boy again, unadulterated for those few moments. 

A contended smile danced on her lips as she hummed a beautiful tune. 

**

P.S : Been ages since I posted. By ages I mean ages ! *Sigh* Hoping to bring this page back from the dead.

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The right path

Two.. Three.. Four... There were just 11 more steps.
‘ I can do it’ he thought , ‘ unless I stumble down’. He drudged further in the pitch darkness. He counted again. There was a right turn after 5 more steps. The clock chimed and he counted. Two rings. So it was two o clock in the night. He had to reach the top within 15 more minutes. This was his last opportunity. He raised his left hand a few inches and tried feeling the wall. He couldn’t reach it. This meant that he was too much in the end. Only a one-side wall supported the staircase. The other side opened to thin air even without a hand bar. A few more centimeters to the right, he would topple down the six floors that he had climbed with so much risk. The risk factor was not just because of the darkness or because of the dangerous steps but there was the enemy to be counted too.

Praying to the Lord for strength and success , step by step he shifted to the left such that his arm rubbed to the hard stone wall. The rough wall was bruising his elbow, which had started to bleed, but he couldn’t shift rightward. The steps were just wide enough to accommodate one thin person. He took a right turn after 3 more steps. More carefully he went further and finally reached the terrace. Heaving a sigh of relief , he crouched down hoping none of his housemates would see him. Crawling stealthily on his knees he reached the other end of the terrace.

He stood up and felt the height of the wall. It came up to his waist. Carefully he climbed on to it. He could felt the cold air hitting him and shivered. He felt around the sleeves of his left hand making sure that there was a circular button. ‘ Ammi how do I know which is the red shirt?’, he had once asked his mother. ‘ Amir beta, Your red shirt has circular buttons on the collar, white shirt has such a button on the edge of the sleeve, the green striped one..’ she had replied making sure that he memorised it all. His mother had not just taught him to be independent; she had also inculcated him with values. ‘Beta, Allah has not given you eyesight but he has given you a heart to choose. Always choose the right path and his grace will be with you’ she had told him again and again.

Now he realized his Ammi was way too idealistic. Helped by his Abba and other uncles the nijahud-ins fighting for their religion had taken refuge in their house unknown to the Indian military. He had heard his cousins go away to their camp once they were of age to do the right thing for their Allah and their religion. Ever since they had taken shelter things were not the same anymore in his house. He remembered the happier days when there was love and laughter. But now there was a gloom that had descended. It all started when Abba’s old friend Mustaan -ji had appeared at their doorstep one night. Two days their guest had watched them silently. One evening when all the elderly had gathered around, Mustaan-ji had addressed them all. His raspy voice had given the little Amir an unknown fear. He was too young to understand what the aggressive speaker had meant but till this day he could remember the final words.
‘For Allah to love us we should write the lord’s name in blood, the blood of the people of this country who have wronged us.’ were the cold words that had sent chills through Amir’s body. Later that night, away from everybody when he was being tucked into bed he asked his mother ‘ Ammi doesn’t Allah love us all equally for what we are as long as we love him ?’ . Before she could reply ,He heard his father ordering him to sleep and not to question elders.

The next morning when he woke up everything was changed. There was gloom and an unknown urgency in the voice of his family members. Till this day it had ever remained so. Ammi was very sick and bedridden but Abba wouldn’t let a doctor visit their house nor would he take her to one. With each day, Amir listened to the increased coughs from his dear Ammi. Her voice was always in pain and this pained him. He decided that Allah dint love him enough and it was his turn to do something so that he would get all the blessings to save Ammi.

Standing on the rooftop he checked his pajama pockets and felt the circular shaped item in one pocket. He could hear the distant sound of marching. So it was just a few minutes before when the country’s soldiers would march by their street for their nightly parole. he took out the item from his pocket. He recalled how some person had instructed others to use the bomb when necessary. They were planning to attack the various cities and were preparing crude bombs in his house. Nobody had ever doubted them because of their clean backgrounds. Also his Abba was a renowned lecturer in a good college. The nijahud-ins were to leave the house at daybreak and travel to various places and time their attacks.

Amir heard the nearing footsteps. He had to throw the bomb in his pocket at the direction of the soldiers’ footsteps. He had never before missed his aim when he threw stones at the dogs when they barked at him. He prayed feverently that he wouldn’t miss it this time too.He had worn the white shirt so that they could spot him easily. His plan was simple. He would attack them and they in turn would come in large numbers to his house and seize everything. This way he could save the hundreds of innocent people, which was the right thing to do. He waited. Took the Lord’s name and proceeded.

And then there was an explosion.

.
.
.
The soldiers took aim and shot at the boy and watched him fall down. Lieutenant Sandesh saw the horror as the Deputy told out loud and clear ‘ Look at the bastard. Not even grown a beard and he threatens our country. God alone knows from where these filthy people come. Come lets go in and finish off the older bastards who have given birth to such vermin.’

.
.
There was babble of voices. Nothing was clear. There was a blinding light that he had never before felt. A smooth voice that called out ‘ Amir beta, are you awake?’ . Surely it must be Allah taking care of him thought Amir.. Would he be still blind or would he be able to see the Almighty, he thought.
.
.
Lieutenant Sandesh saw the anticipating look on the boy’s face and said, ‘You are very safe, beta. Lie down and take rest’
.
.

That morning of the fight when there was flashlights shone on the boy’s face, Lieutenant Sandesh clearly recognized the face. He had wandered around the house several times wearing a fake beard and seen this blind boy sitting alone. Once he had found the boy fallen asleep in the hay bale. The boy was murmuring in his sleep that he had to do right and save the innocents from the devils in his house. He reported it to the higher officials and they had asked him to befriend the boy to find out more. As he watched, his interest and affection towards the boy had grown. He had decided to take a step further and start talking to him but that was when this incident occurred. Seeing the boy being shot at, he felt an urge to save the boy and immediately informed the higher authority. He personally went and picked up the boy from the terrace floor and rushed him to the hospital.

There had been an exchange of fire and explosion between the housemates and the commandos. The house was completely destroyed and none of the inmates had survived. But he wouldn’t let the boy be an orphan. He would've have a home, be cared for.

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